The Fourth Baby – A Decision

I know, I know – I’m talking about it again.  I’m sorry.

But deciding whether or not to add another person to the family is actually pretty difficult.  If it was as easy as just making/adopting and loving them, it would literally be a no brainer.  But there’s so much more to consider, which is why I did the Pro’s and Con’s post in the first place.

So what came out of it?  Well let me tell you.

A quick recap in case this is the first you’re hearing of this.  We have three kids.  I was OK with having no more children.  Seth suddenly got broody and wanted another.  But not in a jokey way.  In a real way.  Having a broody husband is not something I’ve ever had before.  I weighed up the options.  Prayed about it and just generally mulled it over for weeks.  I found that I didn’t hate the idea any more.  In fact, I start planning how I’ll fall pregnant when we travel to Italy/France (because I’m totes in control of that right?! *sarcasm*).  I pondered how awesome that would be if we got it right and what a cool story it would be to tell them.  I even make peace with all the weight I’ll gain and how sick I’ll be.  Basically, I have gotten my whole head and heart to completely shift.

I’m now thinking that I might be wanting another baby too.

Which means that maybe Seth and I should have the chat again because the last time we spoke about it a month ago, I was a flat HELL NO!

Wandering out to the garage, I approach Seth as casually as I could.  Which means that I jumped through the doorway blurting out something along the lines of, “So, do you want to make a baby when we get to France?”.  See what I mean, totes casual.  He looks at me a bit shocked and like I’d just slapped him through the face or something.  He even sits down.  And then he says, “Um, I don’t think it will be a good idea.”

Um…

Say what now?

I mean let’s recap here.  I was the No and now that I’m the Yes, he’s the No?  How does this even work?!

But besides that, when he said those words something washed over me.  And no it wasn’t just confusion.  It was a huge, deeply satisfying sense of relief.  I mean, I’m totally open to it and I’d love that kid so much it would actually get a fright, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for us to do.

This was amplified to us numerous times after this discussion, in various situations.  I mean besides just the expenses and the logistics of it all (which for us, are serious reasons in and of themselves).  Take New Years Eve for example.  We brought our kids with us, we hardly saw them all night because they fed themselves, they went to the toilet on their own and they played with their friends.  They even went to sleep at like 10.30 without a hitch.  We could swing in the New Year without having to dash off and feed a baby or walk around all over the house trying to get them to sleep.  Then we went away with friends (who have kids that hate sleep more than ours used to) and it made me remember how hard it is being in those trenches of motherhood.  Sleep deprived, exhausted and just constantly on the go.

Obviously we’ve had our fair share of this over the last SEVEN years – having 3 kids in the space of 4 years will do that.  Actually, just having a single kid will do that too.  Why?  Because the amount of children doesn’t even matter in terms of it happening, it just determines how long it will keep happening.  What I’m saying is, we’ve done our time and like battered warriors, we’ve emerged to the other side.  It’s still too fresh to want to go and launch into battle again.  I like being on this side.  This side is nice.  Not without its own challenges, but really rather comfortable indeed.

Which means that there will be no more Alfino babies unless the good Lord decides to change that.  And I am totally at peace with this decision.

It also means I can stop looking for new blog names