If having three kids has taught me anything, it’s that having three kids teaches you many things and I have a whole lot more to learn.
(Although let’s be real, this is true of parenting in general – irrespective of how many kids you have.)
However, in my 7 years slogging through this phase of sleepless nights, stinky nappies, school fundraisers and food in the crevices of my car, I have come up with a theory. I’ve applied my super creative imagination and called my theory, “THE RULE OF ONE”.
So here’s the thing.
The Rule Of One is a theory based on the FACT that there is always one kid that’s performing. How they are performing is goes in one of two ways:
Option 1: They are beautiful freaking angels, obedient to a fault.
Option 2: They are little chops whose ears are just ornamental.
To give you an illustration, here’s a snippet of my mornings.
Our alarm goes off. We switch it off. We wake up in panic 15 to 20 minutes later realising that we have all overslept. Frantically jumping up and running into the kids room singing wake up songs at the top of my voice. I ring Kyla’s alarm (a wind up toy that chatters very loudly), but only once because to do it twice is “annoying” apparently. They both groggily wake up. I get out their clothes and put them nicely next to their beautiful little heads.
Then the Rule Of One kicks in.
One of them will take Option 1 – getting dressed with lightening speed, listening perfectly and basically being the dream child. The other will take Option 2 – taking for-freaking-ever to do anything, fighting about clothing choices, not listening and just generally being annoying.
Why is it the rule of one if they are both doing it? Well the thing is they will NEVER both take the same option. If one is great, the other is annoying. Then they swop.
Knox? Well, he’s a thing all on his own. We won’t even go there.
This doesn’t just apply to mornings. It’s everything we do. We go out – one will throw a tantrum. We have friends over – one will lose their minds about nothing and fight. We have supper – one will complain that they hate it.
Ugh.
Please tell me this is not just us?
14 comments
YES! Generally Hannah is the Option 1 child and Ava is my Option 2 child. This morning I spent so much time yelling at her I got a sore throat. How is it so DIFFICULT to just get dressed and not stand around in the nude being distracted by things?
Kyla is usually my Option 2 and Riya Option 1, but then just when I think they’ll both actually be option 1 then Riya loses her freaking mind about the pants that I chose for her and then won’t do anything else until I drag her out of bed. UGH I hate starting my morning like this!
Gosh I only have one kiddo. But yes to “one moment our son is fine and does everything so brilliantly , then on another day he is the complete opposite and he behaves like the Incredible Hulk” ?
Will we ever win?
I ask myself this question every day. And upon lots and lots of reflection, I think we will win one day yes. When they have their own kids to fight with about the same things 😉
I only have 1 child (#2 on the way) and even with 1 this rule applies 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
LOL! Kids keep you on your toes hey?!
Its not just you….. I promise
Thank goodness!
you are not alone – this is me EVERY morning and I only have two kids!
Doesn’t it drive you crazy?!
Haha, this is so true!! But how boring would life be with two angels??
x
You’re right – this rule does keep it interesting. Although I wouldn’t mind a couple of angels every now and then 😉
Mine alternates between 1 and 2 and occasionally throws in a 3rd option where EVERYTHING is moms fault, especially all the things not directly related to actually getting ready.
[…] don’t know how it happened but suddenly instead of the Rule Of One applying, both my girls decided to become lazy in the morning. Neither of them wanting to get up […]