State Of Overwhelm

“I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”

Ah, the things you remember from teen movies iconic to your childhood.

The thing is that I’m not just whelmed, I’m overwhelmed.  Usually I can manage the fluctuations of work, blog, parenting and life fairly well.  In fact, it’s hardly even an effort.  But right now I have a laundry list of things to do and it’s making me so anxious that I have the urge to vom just thinking about.

So don’t think about it.

Sure.  No problem.  Except my brain doesn’t work like that.  How I wish it did

Up until this morning I was killing it.  Really.  Not a care in the freaking World.  For ease of reference, picture this…

A dimly lit circus arena, in the centre is a dark figure.  Suddenly the spotlight flicks on and you see a woman sitting on a unicycle.  The tent smells faintly of popcorn and profusely like the massive dump the elephant took before he left the arena.  There are three small children circling her feet and whining about being hungry even though she fed them before she got on stage.  However none of this distracts the woman – she’s a professional.  While balancing on the unicycle, the woman has a stick on her head, on each foot and one in her mouth.  On the top of each stick is a plate twirling beautifully in a circle.  With her hands she is juggling a rainbow of balls.  It’s captivating and you can’t take your eyes off her.

All of a sudden a group of people surround her and each of them whisper something urgent into her ear. And then it all goes to pot.  Now she’s sitting amongst shards of broken plates with balls that keep hitting her on the head on their way down.

It’s comical.  But only to those watching.

The thing is I know that in a couple of weeks I’ll look back at today and wonder why I was so inept at coping with things that aren’t even a big deal.  But today, I feel like each thing needs my undivided attention and I can’t give it.  Instead, I write.  As I do.  And I’m glad I do.  I feel better about everything already and I haven’t even mentioned what’s up yet.

Aside from some HUGE changes that are happening at work (which will result in an increased work load), new and exciting (but also time consuming and stressful) blog opportunities and everything else that we regularly deal with, we’ve now been told that we need to take Knox for physio and speech therapy.

At first I thought I’d disagree with them and we could just knock it off the list, but that’s not the case.  I know it’s for the best that we deal with these issues now, before they get worse.  So we’re going to, but it’s a bit of a mind shock to have to process it all.

Once I’ve met with the physio I’ll be able to talk about the whole thing I guess, but for now I just need to assimilate all the info.  And write.  Always write.