Neither Seth or I are very out going people. I thought I was the only one who really struggled with this (not being able to do orals at school without the whole podium shaking with me, never mind my voice – or even just being able to start a conversation with someone I didn’t know) and when I met Seth (who felt the same) I knew it was meant to be… But what would this mean for our poor children… Having a double dose of fear?
Up until this point we kind of noticed that Kyla was shy. She didn’t like to say words when being asked to (I still struggle with this) and she didn’t like to do anything when there were too many people watching her. But this last weekend proved our fears…
We were fortunate to be able to go to Zoe Beth’s 1 st birthday party and dedication. It was the first time in a very long time that we had actually attended a children’s function (mainly due to our germs that would not die!). So this was kind of a “first” for them.
Against my normal “hands on, not leave my child alone for a second” feeling, we left Kyla outside with all the other kids to make friends… I couldn’t resist going to check on her every few seconds and these pictures are what I saw.
She was always on the outside looking in, watching the kids but not being part of their group. Even when a lovely toddler tried to make friends with her, she just didn’t know what to do with herself.
Short of saying that I will be her friend forever and that she doesn’t have to worry about this because I’m there for her, it really makes life more complicated. If anyone has any good ideas on how we can try and help her now (rather than later) let us know.
My poor darling. My heart aches seeing these pictures. I know exactly what it was like. The problem is, I had the urge not to want to socialise with anyone, not just from fear, but mainly because I never needed it. It’s something I struggle with. I am happy to be alone and prefer to be all by myself. I had to battle this just to seem normal and to be more Christ like. Although I have kind of grown out of it, I really don’t want Kyla to struggle as much as I did! I think the only way is to expose her to this more often, and make her feel capable to do anything. I must add that these pictures do look worse than it was. She was very happy and content, and eventually started to warm up to the other kids. It is always hard when you do not know anyone but they all know each other. Poor girl…