Why New Years Resolutions Can Go Suck It! And What I’m Doing Instead

Apparently in 2016 I’m all about making aggressive titles for blog posts.  Unintentionally of course.

But seriously.  New Years resolutions can go and suck it.

Do you know how many times I have actually continued my profoundly life altering resolutions after I enthusiastically made them at 12am on New Years Day?  I’ll give you a hint.  It rhymes with Trevor but it’s not as funny.

In case that’s too cryptic, the answer is never.

The vow to travel to distant countries failed, the promise to myself to not shout at my kids failed about 8 hours after I made it.  I’ve never managed to diet all the way through the year, although to be fair I’ve never been able to diet – period.  So there’s that.  All the other things that I thought that I would do, I never actually did.  I have a feeling it’s because it has the word “resolution” tied with it.

Resolution seems so final.  So unwavering.  So determined.  So resolute.

You’re committing to doing it for the whole year.  You have to, you need to, you must.  Very definite, very final, very…

Off putting.

I don’t know about you but I hate feeling restricted.  I’m not about that life.  Even if I’ve clearly placed those restrictions on myself, I find that I start resenting every moment of it.  Worse still, when a resolution is not fulfilled once or twice it’s just considered broken in my head.  Too broken to go back to.  No fixing, no making up for – that’s it.  No more resolution.

Maybe not being a quitter should be my New Years resolution.

Nah.

Instead of stuffing up two weeks into the year and giving up, I’m setting myself something different.  A few things that I want to do more of.  Not life altering, mind blowing things, but things that I hope by doing more regularly, will make me a better Mom, more involved wife and a more connected friend.  Plus besides being all of those things for other people, I will feel like a better me and more able to give of myself to others.

This year I hope to do more:

• Reading – I will read anything.  The only genre that I really don’t enjoy is biographies and thriller type things.  I hope by reading more, I will expand my thinking.  Be more aware of other perspectives, having my grey matter challenged to trying new things and also achieve the wonderfulness of leaving my World behind and delving into another one.  Gosh I love my kids, but sometimes slipping out of my current reality and into another one is just fantastic.  A brain holiday if you will.
• Adventuring – If you had to look up Cindy Alfino in the dictionary you would not find the word “adventurous” there to define me.  After hearing that “Moms don’t swim” from my children (when talking to their friends this holiday), I’ve realised that maybe I’m giving them the wrong impression of how to do life.  From food to travelling to experiences – I want to do it, see it, try it.  Maybe I’ll freaking hate it, but it’s better than hating the idea of it.
• Listening – How often I have been too engrossed in my to-do list to actually listen to my children.  Granted when I set aside a time to talk to them they have no intention of talking to me, at the most I get a “fine” – but maybe that’s something we’ll fix this year.  When they’re ready to talk, I want to be more available to listen.
• Sleeping – I know this may seem like a weird one, but goodness knows that I am a better person when I’ve had enough sleep.  Just ask Seth.  So instead of watching TV till the late hours and then scrolling through my phone for a few more hours and then lying there wondering why my brain won’t switch off, I’m obviously still indulging my series addiction but making sure that I go to sleep at a reasonable time.  The trick though is that I am not looking at my phone before I go to sleep.  Jas-like-it, it has been flipping difficult, but I managed to do it for a couple of nights and I have fallen asleep so much easier.
• Entertaining – This is the year for regular braais with friends, dinner parties with more friends, date nights, kids dates, gym partners, sneaky retreats with and without the kids and themed birthday parties.  Gone are the days that I make excuses of why we can’t entertain – I can’t cook, the house is a mess, we just need to do *** and then we can have people over.  Rubbish.  Not happening this year.  Even if people happen to leave with a bit of food poisoning, at least we’ll be doing it together.  A bonding moment if you will.

So here’s hoping that by wanting to do more of things, instead of accomplish certain exact things, I’ll actually stick to this little list this year.

Do you have resolutions?  Do you stick to them?  How do you approach a New Year?  I’d love to hear some of your changes for this year.

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